I've had a bit of an introspective weekend .... interestingly enough my trip to Florida this week had made me realize how lazy I am. If it weren't for my routines, I could be a total couch potato. Now, I'm not ... but I could be - that's my point. And it is a scary realization. During the four days in Florida I ate a lot of unhealthy food and other than one run, did not exercise at all even though there was a gym on premises. A couple of mornings, I thought about going for a run and found something else to do instead. Now if my friend Sharon had been in that situation, she would have run, swam and worked out in the gym every day - she would have done these things because she wanted to, because she would not have felt well if she hadn't.
I think it is good for me to understand this about myself ... I have to stick to those routines - both for food and for fitness. There is nothing wrong with taking the occasional break (don't tell me I'm being hard on myself) but it is good to understand where your motivation comes from.
I've had a realization about something else I've been puzzling through ... this post is somewhat more personal and probably very self-indulgent. There is a young guy I hang out with from time to time - I met him running last summer. He is 10 years younger than me - I would have guessed much younger than that but he assures me that's the case. He is fit (marathon time under 3 hours), athletic, good looking and very sweet. How many men will massage your feet for an hour? He has been trying to convince me we should have an affair - my word not his - I call it such because I know it would be a casual short term type of thing. But I am not interested. I have nothing against the idea in principal. Sharon thinks I'm crazy not to go for it. At times, I've been about half convinced and then I realize again - there is no interest. I've been puzzling over the why ... am I getting too set in my ways, too used to being on my own, unwilling to take any chances, brittle and closed off?
But I've had a bit of a 'Sex and the City' weekend ... not in the way that may sound. If you follow the show you'll know Carrie has met an older, Russian artist. So have I - no kidding. We have only talked so far and will talk again. That short conversation actually has me feeling more alive than all the time I've spent with the young guy. I actually feel a bit excited about this. Stay tuned - there may be even be some romance in my life. I might even like that.
I just couldn't help but notice that at the moment, we appear to be experiencing remarkably parallel states of February blahs ... hope yours clears up soon (and mine too).
Posted by: not pretty | February 23, 2004 at 12:58 AM
I think as I age I am getting set in my ways...All my resolutions for this year are aimed at busting that progression.
Don't go more than two cats or you'll end up like my friend Matt who is now a Designated Cat Lady, with three cats..
Sounds like the February Blues...It's almost over!
Michael
Posted by: Michael | February 23, 2004 at 01:16 AM
Ah, I saw the last Sex in the City episode tonight--and thought of you. The young guy sounds fabulous, but the two times I was talked into an affair with good male friends, we lost the friendship. It wasn't worth it. Hmmm, your very own Russian artist. Sounds intriguing.
Posted by: Fran | February 23, 2004 at 03:57 AM
I agree. And enduring friendship is ultimately more valuable than a an acknowledged short-term relationship.
Posted by: julie | February 23, 2004 at 10:11 AM
Hi, found your site from ispygemini (Kelly) and thought I'd stop by. Your older Russian sounds like a wonderful opportunity, my best relationships have always started out by endless talking sessions. Those kind where you go for hours and hours, and don't even realize it. Well, anyway, the best of luck to you.
Posted by: Rob Bennett | February 23, 2004 at 01:38 PM
Finding someone who sparks interest is proving to be difficult... sigh.
Posted by: Dale | February 23, 2004 at 02:05 PM
i'm so glad february is almost over-- the blahs are no good for apartment hunting! thanks for all the encouragement you've been giving. i'll find something, i'm sure. and good luck with the russian! does he look like Mikail?(not sure if i spelled that correctly!)
Posted by: rob | February 23, 2004 at 11:00 PM
keep us posted--
in the meantime, why not have affairs with both? :)
Posted by: angel | February 26, 2004 at 10:45 AM
Sorry I missed this post a week or so ago! I'm excited for you Wendy - it all sounds good with the Russian...I wish you the best of luck!
Posted by: Cindy | March 05, 2004 at 10:06 PM