Nexus

Shopping

Had a wonderful day downtown shopping with one of my girlfriends today. Shopping trips with girlfriends are more than just shopping aren't they. It is a time to catch up on all the news and share some laughs. Neither one of us bought a single thing today - well apart from coffees and dinner. It was wonderful.

Impatiently Waiting for Spring

With the warmer temperatures the snow has started to melt a bit ... I can see some bare spots of green grass showing through the snow covering. I hope all my grass seeding and fertilizing last falls pays off .... I was a brand new gardener last year and not entirely sure of what I was doing. I can now see the back patio is covered with sunflower seed shells from numerous bags of sunflowers handed out to the birds and squirrels over winter.

I remember reading somewhere that this time of year - just before spring is the most important time to keep feeding these creatures as there is no new food from nature yet.

Looking out the back makes me wish for spring. I can't wait to see how my carefully selected perennials from last year come back this year. At least I hope they come back. I really enjoyed filling up my beautiful ceramic pots with soil and tiny little plants and watching them grow and fill out. It was amazing to me to put down grass seed on bare spots and watch the little shoots of grass grow. And to know I did that. I can hardly wait to do it all over again this year.

10k Training

My mission for the weekend is to find a training plan for a 10k run. The city where our office is located (and where I live) is hosting their first marathon (42.2 k) this year ... in addition to this distance there will also be a half marathon (21.1 k) and a 10 k.

It looks like we are ending up with a whole team from our department in the race. It started out with a couple of the guys and after some gentle persuasian, interest has spread. By the end of the day I think we had about 10 people interested. This has some fun possibilities. Most of this group do not run at present - the one or two who do mainly run a 5 k distance.

I have several years worth of back issues to 'Runner's World' magazine and have offered to scour the issues for a training plan - they have about 2 months to prepare. I will either run as well or go and cheer them on.

Intolerance

This passage seems so apropos at the moment. In case anyone wonders why so many heterosexuals are concerned about the attack on gays and gay rights that has come up along with the discussion on gay marriage. As my friend <a href="http://queerlycreative.blogs.com/ ">Rose</a> says - silence is political. I just want to make sure I am not silent - I voice my support for my gay friends and recognition of their rights.

<em>In Germany they first came for the Communists,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist.

Then they came for the Jews,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew.

Then they came for the trade unionists,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Catholics,
and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant.

Then they came for me -
and by that time no one was left to speak up. </em>

- German anti-Nazi activist, Pastor Martin Niemöller

Dogs and Walking

Pilates class was cancelled tonight so I went for a walk instead. It was sunny and while still cold out quite pleasant. As usual there were lots of dogs being walked. I've never had a dog myself but love them and I enjoy seeing them while walking. I love to watch the retriever types carrying some stick or whatever - they always look like they know they have the most important job in the world.

I especially love German Sheppards and Yellow Labs.

My maternal grandparents always had German Sheppards - combination of farm guard dog and family pet. Of all the dogs I remember them having Nita stands out the most. She was a fantastic dog. Now she was a guard dog and fiercely loyal to my grandfather. I'll never understand how she got to be so smart.

My grandparents lived way out in the countryside of rural New Brunswick. The approach to the house was around a sharp corner, down a hill and up a hill and then you would turn into their driveway. This meant you could see the house from a distance and of course be seen from a distance. And the roads were all gravel so you would be heard from a distance as well. As soon as Nita heard any road noise she was alert. Now there weren't many houses around so she knew there was a good chance the distant car would be coming to her house. When anyone pulled into the yard she was right there - but she started barking well before anyone got to the yard if it was a car she didn't know.

There was one friend of my grandfather's that she would not let out of his car. When he arrived in the yard he had to stay in the car - Nita went to the driver's side, barred her teeth and growled. He had to sit in the car until my grandfather gave him a personal escort out of the car. I always wondered what he ever did to make her dislike him so - there must have been a story there. Whatever it was, it was never told to us kids. I must remember to ask my mother if she knew. I have learned over the years that there are family secrets and my parents were very good at not divulging them. These days I do get the occasional story out of my mother if she is in the right mood.

My family visited my grandparents every summer. And we arrived in a different car many years - yet Nita never barked at our car. I often wondered how she knew it was us - but she did. For us kids as soon as we saw her, she was all we focused on. We tumbled out of the car and fought to get our arms around Nita first. Nita was always thrilled when any of the grandkids arrived - she knew there would be walks, sticks to retrieve, secret tubs of ice-cream to eat and kids to follow into the river. Makes me wish to be a kid again.

Helplessly Hoping by CSN&Y

Some song lyrics are like poems aren't they? Before the internet, it used to be hard work getting the lyrics to songs. I remember listening to this song - over and over again - trying to write down the lyrics. I don't think I ever did get them down correctly. I wore the album out in any case - it was one of my favourites. I bought the CD not that long ago - not all of it has stood the test of time for me - but this song has. I love it every bit as much now as I ever did. I think for most of the 'singer songwriter' type music I listen to, the lyrics are the most important thing to me - and they always were.

I've just done an internet search for the 'Hopelessly Hoping' lyrics - it may be the first time I've actually read what they are really singing.

<em>HELPLESSLY HOPING LYRICS

by Stephen Stills

Helplessly hoping
Her harlequin hovers nearby
Awaiting a word
Gasping at glimpses
Of gentle true spirit
He runs, wishing he could fly
Only to trip at the sound of good-bye
Wordlessly watching
He waits by the window
And wonders
At the empty place inside
Heartlessly helping himself to her bad dreams
He worries
Did he hear a good-bye? Or even hello?
They are one person
They are one person
They are two alone
They are three together
They are for each other
Stand by the stairway
You'll see something
Certain to tell you confusion has its cost
Love isn't lying
It's loose in a lady who lingers
Saying she is lost
And choking on hello
They are one person
They are two alone
They are three together
They are for each other</em>

Risk

Risk is always present in our lives ... I personally like some risk - especially when it arises from change. Risk has occupied a great portion of my day today as I get ready to conduct risk analysis meetings related to my current project ... we will analyse risk from two standpoints - risk to the project plan and business risks that we will be identify to be a focus in our software test strategy. I spent today preparing templates, definition documents and use cases as handouts.

On my drive home from the office today I pondered risk in my life a bit.

I hadn't thought of it as such until today but there are several little habits that I have been trying to cultivate since the New Year (when I did all my resolutions) that really aim at risk reduction.

Here are some small changes I made -

(1) I stopped re-using those flimsy plastic water bottles and instead purchased several great - and - proper water bottles of varying sizes and styles. I kept reading about the danger of these bottles and all the nice chemicals they put in your system. Seems a small thing to do.

(2) I lock my car door as soon as I close it - all the time now not just at night. I keep reading about car jacking and well - locking the door is a habit now.

(3) I don't put anything in the re-cycle bin that has any personal info on it - not even those offers of credit cards etc. Identity theft .... why take the chance. I've read everyone should have a shredder - I take all that paper to the office and put it in the paper shredder box.

(4) I can be very lazy about washing my coffee cup at the office - not any more ... it gets scrubbed often now.

Small changes ... who knows if any of them make a difference but I think they help to control certain risks.

Museums Without Walls

The Globe and Mail has <a href="http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/ArticleNews/TPStory/LAC/20040224/EGYPT24/TPNational/Canada">this story </a>today about a website that brings <a href="http://www.eternalegypt.org/EternalEgyptWebsiteWeb/HomeServlet">the treasures of Egypt </a>to the web. Haven't had a lot fo time to explore (it's that work getting in the way again) but it looks so interesting. I visited the Egyptian display at The British Museum and can't wait to explore this site.

Carnival

It's Carnival in Trinidad & Tobago. It would have started early, early morning today with J'ouvert. This would be followed by two days of Carnival - also starting today. As I post this I imagine the revellers are home catching a few hours of sleep and getting ready to do it all again tomorrow.

Wish I was there. Since I'm not, I'll have to make due with playing a few soca tunes and reading about it.
This is a link to a bit of <a href="http://www.visittnt.com/ToDo/Events/Carnival/background/default.html">Carnival history</a>.

Carnival in Haiti also started today ... I have been wondering if they would hold Carnival this year. Haven't been able to determine this ... but I did find <a href="http://www.heritagekonpa.com/archives/Haiti%20carinival.htm">this link </a>giving some information on Carnival in Haiti.

Couch Potato

I've had a bit of an introspective weekend .... interestingly enough my trip to Florida this week had made me realize how lazy I am. If it weren't for my routines, I could be a total couch potato. Now, I'm not ... but I could be - that's my point. And it is a scary realization. During the four days in Florida I ate a lot of unhealthy food and other than one run, did not exercise at all even though there was a gym on premises. A couple of mornings, I thought about going for a run and found something else to do instead. Now if my friend Sharon had been in that situation, she would have run, swam and worked out in the gym every day - she would have done these things because she wanted to, because she would not have felt well if she hadn't.

I think it is good for me to understand this about myself ... I have to stick to those routines - both for food and for fitness. There is nothing wrong with taking the occasional break (don't tell me I'm being hard on myself) but it is good to understand where your motivation comes from.

I've had a realization about something else I've been puzzling through ... this post is somewhat more personal and probably very self-indulgent. There is a young guy I hang out with from time to time - I met him running last summer. He is 10 years younger than me - I would have guessed much younger than that but he assures me that's the case. He is fit (marathon time under 3 hours), athletic, good looking and very sweet. How many men will massage your feet for an hour? He has been trying to convince me we should have an affair - my word not his - I call it such because I know it would be a casual short term type of thing. But I am not interested. I have nothing against the idea in principal. Sharon thinks I'm crazy not to go for it. At times, I've been about half convinced and then I realize again - there is no interest. I've been puzzling over the why ... am I getting too set in my ways, too used to being on my own, unwilling to take any chances, brittle and closed off?

But I've had a bit of a 'Sex and the City' weekend ... not in the way that may sound. If you follow the show you'll know Carrie has met an older, Russian artist. So have I - no kidding. We have only talked so far and will talk again. That short conversation actually has me feeling more alive than all the time I've spent with the young guy. I actually feel a bit excited about this. Stay tuned - there may be even be some romance in my life. I might even like that.