Nexus

Transformations

This is my 200th post - something I find hard to believe. When I thought about what I might write about for this one, I decided to take the time to post about something I have been wanting to for awhile now.

I have been lucky enough to watch the transformation of four co-workers into fathers over the last year. It has been heart warming and special. All four of them are wonderful people and are absolutely fabulous fathers.

I've know two of them for quite some time. I watched these two go from happy go lucky bachelors - newly arrived in Canada over 12 years ago now. My employer did a hiring blitz in England as there was a shortage of programmers here at the time - a group of 5 arrived. One brought a new wife - married for immigration purposes - the rest were single and have all since married and stayed here in the Toronto area. I first watched them transform into husbands. They all chose great spouses.

Now after 12 years, many projects and several employers later, I find myself lucky enough to work with two of them again.

Last year news of the pregnancies started trickling out - by the time all four had been announced (in a department of 20 or so people) we were amazed. All had due dates within a two week span. (Of course all this happened during a project that was already a time crunch) So, one by one the due dates approached and the 'I'm at the hospital' phone calls arrived. We are a close department and we anxiously waited until we finally had the news we were waiting for - the baby arrived. The women in the department managed to get the details and write the subsequent emails. Happy, happy times. Four times over.

All babies arrived healthy and bouncy. Email photos were shared.

I was amazed as I listened to the four of them trading diaper and breast feeding stories. Tears frequently came to my eyes as the proud fathers shared their experiences with us. The babies have been in for many visits over the last almost year now. I've watched them grow so confident as they handle their little ones. And the babies - there were two boys and two girls. These children are so well loved and so fantastic.

I have loved watching this change - perhaps because I see them everyday and hear little tidbits everyday I've felt quite close to all of it.

Seeing the transformation to fatherhood so close up has made me really appreciate these men.

Matching Shoes & Bag

I just love the look of matching shoes and hand bags - its not something I have ever really successfully mastered. Iam far too lazy.

But, it just looks so fantastic and pulled together. I think that will be my goal for when I grow up.

Nose Shocks

The official sign that winter is (almost) here at my house - when the cats get shocks on their noses when they do their usual sniffs on my hand. All spring and summer they forgot to cringe when they extend their noses for the usual greeting ..... this morning the first shock of the season occurred ..... winter can't be far off!

No .... I'm not pregnant!

The wife of one of my co-workers has the same name as me ...... today he had exciting news to share with our department - his wife is expecting their second child in the spring. She had told me her news on the weekend and I was bursting for him to reveal the news to everyone (so I could stop keeping a secret) Of course I totally forgot when he was telling everyone 'Wendy is pregnant' that they might think it was me! I had to explain rather quickly - no - not me! We all had a good laugh.

That's not the first time people have wondering what's going on between Dave & I - when he describes Wendy's eating habits - especially what she likes for breakfast, I have gotten a few quizzical looks! Then we remember to explain - its a different Wendy.

'Bread' by Michael Crummey

I love this beautiful story by Newfoundland poet Michael Crummey.

BREAD
Michael Crummey

Worth Repeating

I've posted this quote before, but, its one of my favourites and its worth repeating.

"Be patient towards all that is unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves. Do not seek the answers that cannot be given, because you would not be able to live with them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now."

- Rainer Maria Rilke

Running Partners

Three years ago I ran my first (and only) marathon with Diane, my running partner. We trained for a couple of years before we actually attempted one. We ran the entire thing together - every picture taken on the route has both of us side by side. Diane always had the goal of running another one - for some reason, it was something I haven't so far felt the desire to do again.

Diane started marathon training again last spring. We stopped running together once her runs got longer than I wanted to do. I have missed her - when you run with someone 3 times a week, you really know the ins and outs of their life. We haven't seen much of eachother this summer.

Her marathon was today - I just spoke to her to get the scoop - she did it and had a fantastic time. I'm really pleased for her. I do hope she goes back to 'normal person' running again soon though!

Where You Live

One of the other topics of conversation yesterday was how important it is to like or love where you live. To feel happy and at peace there. To be able to walk through the door at night and know you have arrived home.

I was having this conversation with a friend who had just moved into such a place after having spent a year or so in a place she truly hated. I love where I live now, but, have in the past lived in places where I was not very happy. My worst 'home' was the temporary apartment where I lived during the year I worked in Connecticut. By the end of my stay there I well and truly hated every feature of every room in that place. There was not a single redeeming feature - not one.

We were realizing how important 'home' is to your overall well-being. This also led into a discussion about how awful it must be to live with someone abusive or even that you didn't want to be around. Someone who ruins 'home' for you. I think being at peace in your home must be one of the main cornerstones of overall happiness. Its one I take for granted at the moment and I need to remember to be very grateful for this.

Animals & Ethics

I had a wonderful visit with one of my friends this afternoon ..... this is someone I used to work with several years ago. She had some devastating life changes and after soul searching,has gone back to school for a Masters in philosophy/ethics/political science.

Today we ate, walked, browsed, shopped but mostly we talked the entire day. Our lives have been quite different, but, we really do have a lot in common. One of those things being a total love of animals. One topic (of many) we covered today was ethics in the treatment of animals. We both believe that animals have feelings, intelligence - that they can feel and think in other words. We talked about some of the uncanny things our pets have done over the years.

She had a rottweiler/sheppard blend who was a dear sweet dog. Me of course I have my cats. I was telling her about a habit my 18 year old cat picked up - in the morning he guides me down the stairs. I would love to know what he is thinking. After the alarm goes off and my feet hit the ground, he lets me know he is there - a little meow. And he puts his body in such a way that he maintains a bit of contact with my right ankle and he guides me all the way down the stairs. I find this totally amazing. That's just me - I'm sure every pet owner has at least a dozen amazing stories.

So how can people think that animals are just 'like trees'. Anyhow, we talked about this topic at length - the whole ethical side of how we humans treat animals.

Of course, if we can treat people as badly as we do, the animals don't stand a chance. Look at aids in Africa for example - then look at the reaction of the catholic church to this issue. Is there anything ethical to be found in this situation? I'm afraid I don't have a lot of hope for the world when I think about these things.

It would be wonderful, but, too much to ask I'm afraid, to make governments adhere to ethical standards - something in very short supply in our world these days.

OK - I'm getting off my soapbox now - perhaps I should go to Speaker's Corner in Hyde Park when I visit London!

What's your Spiritual Type

Here is a group of interesting <a href="http://www.beliefnet.com/features/quiz/index.html">quizzes</a> dealing with religion and spiritual matters.

I found the page via a link from <a href="http://americanswami.com/yogablog/">'The Yoga Blog'</a>.