The count down to 2007 has begun ... I am on my second glass of wine (a lovely Baco Noir from Peller Estates Vineyard in Niagara ... heaven) Waiting for my pilot boyfriend to arrive. He is off the plane and only two hours away ... by car now that he is at least on the ground. I don't have too much in the way of resolutions this year since I did a lot of evaluation and introspective thinking in September when I turned 50. I'm enjoying this new relationship yet struggling to trust it at the same time. You know, in many ways it is just so much easier to be single. But as much as I struggle with it, I seem to be diving in head first. (God, please give me strength) I know I can handle whatever comes my way - I know I have the strength to do that. Yet I am afraid to trust in it and afraid to open myself up. Do we all go through this? I guess we must. People face debilitating hurts all the time ... we do get through. Is it possible to really give into it at my age? I tell myself the outcome will be the same no matter what so I may as well just go with it. M tells me I over-analyse everything. I weigh all possible outcomes, I weigh going forward or turning back. I weigh everything as if it was a computer software problem ... and I do this the the nth degree until I drive myself and everyone else crazy. Can I really do this?
On a saner note ... time to go upstairs and put on some make-up and get dressed. There is this beautiful man and he is on his way to see me. I am crazy about him. For now, that is really all I need to remember.
Happy New Year everyone. Here's to a wonderful 2007 with much peace and happiness for everyone.